It was a cold winter day and my bosses were off because of Christmas break. My coworker and myself were doing inventory for two week so basically we were sitting around. I had had my coffee and was going to use the bathroom for my morning poo. I unleashed a vile torrent of hate on that poor bathroom. The night before I had Thai food from my favorite restaurant a block away. Curry.
As I stood over my triceretops poo from Jurassic park taking in my handiwork I flushed the toilet. The bowl began to fill rather than drain. I stayed calm. This had happened the week before. I just came back an hour later and tried again and it worked. I was going to test this previously great idea.
An hour or so later I go back to find the toilet drained but all of my business surrounding the bowl and staining it an olive green brownish. Time to test the theory. I flushed and it immediately filled back up. Fuck. All maintenance is backordered and most are on vacation.
Discouraged I left the scene of the crime. I ask my coworker what I should do. He has worked here five years and it is my second month on the job. His sound advice is to plunge it myself. I don't know where a plunger is and apparently he hadn't witnessed the crimes against humanity that I have committed.
A couple of hours inventory go by and my coworker decides he has to use the bathroom. I tell him to keep in mind, what do I do to remedy this situation. He opens the door and sees what has occurred. He gags, walks away without going in and starts laughing his ass off. He never even bothered to answer me.
Another couple of hours go by in which we are cracking jokes about wearing a respirator to get near it. He asked me what I named it. As we are facing a shelf we hear my boss's boss greet us with an unusual question.
"Have you boys seen any non company people use the bathroom?"
I freeze not saying anything and trying not to burst into my witch cackle. I don't dare utter a word so my coworker takes over.
"I have seem a few truckers go in and out. What's up?"
"Some mother fucker took a Shit in the toilet and it overflowed onto the floor!"
As a side note last time either of us went into the bathroom my creation had not sprung to life and lept out of the toilet to drench the floor.
"Oh Shit. Those truckers don't care about anybody or anything."
"If I find out who did it I am going to shove this plunger up his ass."
He stormed off and spent the next two hours cleaning the bathroom with bleach and a mop while we watched him from the warehouse. He gagged more than a few times.
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